SWF Looking For Disfunction, Unavailability

I am just about fed up. Let's examine two more type's of men that I've come into contact with.

Dude #1. Self-destructive. Nothing is their fault. Life sucks not because they won't get off of their ass but because the fates are out to get them. "All I want from life is for you to be happy". However, your happiness is going to come second, third, fourth or fifth to them, their video games, their drinking and their buddies. In other words, "All I want from life is for you to be happy...as long as I get to stay a 5 year-old while you take care of me and put up with my adolescent behavior. 'Cause the first instant that I have to be a grown-up and take care of real life shit...I'm out". When you finally do wake up and realize that nothing is ever going to come from this self-destructive guy, they like to talk about how you're the that got away, the one good thing in their life, how they would have done anything to make it work. Again, "anything" is another way of saying "anything that is within my comfort zone". These types of men are especially dangerous for girls like me who love to take care of people, who like to fix people and be their solid in a world of turmoil. The trick is figuring out whether or not they are the type of man who lives in a world of turmoil 24/7 or if they are the type of man who is just trying to make their way in life. Key word there is "trying". All I ask is that you try. You may not succeed. We may truly be horrible for each other. You may just suck at life. But at least you can try. Either way, this chick is done saving. You want me...make a change. That may not be enough to get me but hey, again, you gotta try.

Whew. Can you tell I feel a bit strongly about this one?

Moving on...literally. And moving on to the next dude...

Dude #2. The fatalist. Chances are that he is more realistic than dude #1. He's probably a very logical person with a good head on his shoulders. Here's the kicker, though; he talks himself out of even trying. Divorce rate is at 50%. Most kids are screwed up because of their parents. People who are married usually don't even like each other. So, logically, it would make sense not to pursue someone you're interested in because chances are that it's going to fail anyway. That's that guy. And how do you argue any of that? It's the truth. But aren't you already ahead of the game just by acknowledging that the odds are against you and that you need to be on top of your game? Don't you think that these people who are getting divorces are the ones who live in a fantasy about what life and love should be? The people screwing up their kids are the ones who don't see a correlation between their problems and the way their parents raised them? It's no secret that people rush into marriage nowadays without having a real grasp on who the person is that they're marrying. I'm just having a hard time arguing these points with my fatalist friend. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic but I really do think that happiness is achievable if you're realistic and honest with each other.

And then, there's me. Who apparently doesn't like normal boys who want to take me on normal dates and who have no problem talking marriage and babies. I think it's just that my heart is a little too involved with #1 and #2 to really focus elsewhere but...I'm a little afraid that I go for emotionally unavailable men. Which, whatever. At this point, it's not a big deal because I've got big things going on in my life in the form of starting a business. Maybe it's just not time. I'm not stressing, not too terribly much at least. It's just frustrating. I want what I want and I want those that I want to understand what the hell I'm saying. Make sense?

I didn't think so.