Pant Leg Rage

I'm not that short. I'm 5'5"...maybe 5'6" on a good day. So, with that said...

Why, oh why, do all of the pants that I try on have to be at least 5" too long? I just want to know. Why. I think I'm rather proportionate, nothing out of the ordinary at least. Can't you people who make pants make them somewhat reasonable?! You're driving me nuts!

Blah. If only I could have a personal tailor at my beck and call. Then I wouldn't need to bother with you people and your too long pants.

FYI - I dislike you.

Drag Queen Songs

I feel a little swindled after listening to a song thinking it's a woman singing and then find out it was a dude the whole time.

You ain't gotta lie to kick it, main. Creepy, Creepster.

Kind of Like a Puppy

Sometimes if my printer gets a paper jam, I feel like leaving it jammed for a little while just to teach it a lesson. Like rubbing a puppy's nose in it's diddle. Bad printer!

I really hate printers. And they hate me. Brand new printer...tells me to load paper...when there is a whole stack of paper in it already. Hate. It. So. Much.

Grrrrr.

Happiness is...

...my favorite pair of jeans, white cotton t-shirt, coffee and a beautiful day.

Bitch Slap

Oh, my family. I think both of my parents are getting funnier as they age. Not like they're-losing-their-minds-funny but...just, wow.

Talking to my mom today, for example:
Me: Yeah, I'm going to stop by Dad's cause he hasn't answered my phone calls. It's probably cause I didn't want the Buick
Mom: Yeah, go over there and bitch slap him!
Me: Mom!
Mom: Ohmygod, I can't believe I just said that!

This comes from the woman who frowns at me when I say "hell" and says "Sarah!" when I say "ass".
Maybe she is losing her mind. I kind of like it. Is that sick of me?

I Will Have You, Pretty House

Me likey. This looks like absolute heaven to me.

**Matthew Millman Photography

Car Snob

My car was totaled about a month ago. Some dim-wit ran a red light when I had a green left hand turn signal and the rest is history. So, I've been car shopping. Luckily, I have my Dad to help. I'm sure it's not hard to imagine that I'm not the best at dealing with car dealers. I'd sound something like this, "You want me to pay what? Well, okay. I guess if that's the best you can do...". While my Dad sounds something like this,"Well, to be quite honest, I'm not paying that amount. I'm paying this amount and if you can't give us the car for that amount then we'll find another car". I have this fear of being mean which I really need to get over especially when it comes to dealing with anyone trying to sell me something.

Anyway, I receive a call from my Dad today and this is what went down:
Dad: I'd like to take you to look at a car today
Me: I'm sick. Don't want to today (I get whiney when sick, FYI). What kind of car?
Dad: A Buick
Me: Dad, I'm not driving a Buick
Dad: Have you ever seen a Buick?
Me: Yes. I have. I'm not driving a Buick. I'm under the age of 55 so I'm not driving a Buick
Dad: But it's a Buick Le Sabre. It's like a Lexus
Me: A Buick is not a Lexus.
Dad: No, but it's like a Lexus
Me: I'm not driving a Buick, Dad. I'll drive a Lexus but I'm not driving a Buick. See the difference?

After hanging up I felt a little bad. Not bad enough to drive a Buick, but nonetheless, a little bad. Damn champagne taste. Get's me into trouble every time.

Look, Ma. No Hands!

Growing up...it sometimes hits you in the face. It's learning to want someone not because you need them, but simply because you want them. You want them not because they are filling something that you're lacking but because they accentuate the good parts in you and dissuade the bad parts. It's being able to stand alone with or without them and be better because of it. It's a strange feeling.

I've just been missing a certain someone and I realized that, while I totally do miss them, my life isn't at a stand still because of the missing. That thought threw me a bit...made me think that my feelings must not be all that strong. After thinking over this line of thought, it hit me. Affection shouldn't be placed because your world would stop spinning without that person. That's a piece of codependency that I want no part of. No, affection should be placed because that person makes your world a little brighter when they're around. Because they add a dash of color to your world.

Hopeless little romantic. Yeah, I know. Shut it.