I'll Show You Who's Cute!

"You are just cute as a button!"

I hate this. I don't really know why but I do. I know there are worse things than being called cute but... I just equate this particular compliment to something you'd say to a five year old. So it feels a bit backhanded every time I hear it. And I hear it all the time.

Damn cheeks and cheery attitude.

Another reason behind the hate that comes from hearing this phrase is that most of the time all people see is the cuteness which puts me in an awkward position when I really want to drop an f-bomb. I always hesitate before showing people the side of me that has a dirty mouth & occasional dirty mind (I'm sorry but crass jokes are hilarious jokes. Bottom line). I'm not sure how they'll take hearing such unladylike language coming from this cute little button.

Sigh.

Maybe I'll just get a fat tattoo on my face. We'll see who's cute then! Not me!

Can't Say I'm Not Logical

"You know, maybe you're right. Sex has nothing to do with toilet seats."

I've decided that this is the quote of the day. This one in particular was sent the morning after I had a conversation with a certain mister about how a man can (or in my opinion, cannot) tell a lot about how a chick will be in bed based on her bathroom etiquette. More specifically, whether or not she leaves the toilet seat up for him.

...yes. These are the types of arguments we have. And yes, I totally won said argument. Even if it took him a good 10 hours to realize it.

Remake

I think that TLC's song should go a little something like this,

"So (no)
I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)
I don't want no schmuck
A schmuck is a guy that can't get no love from me"

Seriously, who raised these boys?