We Should Fight

A little peek into my day-to-day text convos with a certain mister...

Mister: You suck.
Sarah: Pretty sure I don't.
M: I can't believe you wouldn't let me watch The Blind Side.
S: How did I not let you watch The Blind Side?
M: Twice.
S: I just said that it'd make me cry. I didn't say we couldn't watch it.
M: I want to get in a fight with you over a movie.
S: Oh, we will.
M: I think we need that.
S: Why do we need to fight?
M: Because I read something.
S: What did it say?
M: It said people who get along well are boring.
S: We fight. We just get straight to the point.
M: I'm going to have to be so mad at you. (Knocks over a lamp). Bitch!
S: And I'm going to have to make enchiladas because I know you hate them.
M: I can make better enchiladas than you. How does that demean you?
S: It would except that I know you can't.
M: Do you want to make it a bet?
S: Yes. I do. What are your stakes?
M: I'll sleep with you.
S: You sleep with me all the time.
M: I'll be genuinely interested in your tits.
S: So you've never been genuinely interested in them before?
M: No.
S: Ouch.
M: Well, I can't remember.
S: That's answer enough.
M: But I'm also kidding. I've been curious about one of them.
S: Mister. You shouldn't kid about girls tits.
M: I feel like I just stepped into a big pile of shit. I don't know what I'm doing in this conversation. I feel like I got into a club with a fake id and the cops are busting the party. I'm scared because I don't know if this will affect my college enrollment but maybe the police will just stop at making me appear for a judge.
S: That's exactly what it's like. When will you learn?
M: I really think we should talk about your tits in person. Because all of this was fake. I faked it.
S: No one has ever said any of that to me, ever.
M: I think we need to talk about this on the phone.

This is the point where we had a phone conversation about my rack and how deep he dug the hole with each new comment. He's so lucky I'm not a normal girl and am able to read "just-trying-to-be-funny".

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why he's my favorite.

Will You Be My Douchebag?

I really want to hate Mr. Kanye West but I can't when he writes songs like this,

"Let's have a toast for the douchebags, let's have a toast for the assholes, let's have toast for the scumbags, every one of them that I know. Let's have a toast for the jerk offs, that'll never take work off. Baby, I got a plan, runaway as fast as you can."

Seriously though, this girl is about to get a complex. I'm an overanalyzing-what-did-I-do-wrong kind of a gal even when it's a situation where no one did anything wrong. And it's killin' me. It'd be so much easier if I could just call someone a douchebag. Any takers?

Resolution? I Got Your Resolution...

I'm not a big New Year's resolution girl. I figure that if there is anything that I should either start or stop doing then...well, I should just start or stop doing it. However, this year, I think I'm going to make a few lighthearted ones.

1. Wear more red lipstick. I'm saucy and I think red lipstick will help to optimize that.
2. Go to Vegas. Never been. I'm 27. Something is wrong with that picture.
3. Succeed at snowboarding. I may go bankrupt doing so but dammit, I'm gonna do it.

So that's that. Isn't that so much better than "quitting smoking"? Besides, I'd have to start smoking in order to have to stop and that just seems like a hassle. And New Year's resolutions are anything but a hassle.

...delirium has set in. Apologies.