Woman Code

Guys, let me explain something about women and why, no matter what you do, you're screwed.

Sometimes, if we're upset about something and you ask us what's wrong, it's going to make us cry. If you tell us to stop crying, it's going to make us cry even more. If you ask, incredulously, why we're crying...well, you get the picture.

Now, this is something that all women know (or should know). If a friend of ours just had something bad happen we know not to ask "what's wrong?". We pat them on the back, give them a smile and maybe say "It's going to be okay". But generally, asking for a response while a woman is in the midst of an emotional situation will elicit tears.

Now, you're probably thinking, 'Fine, then we just won't ask what's wrong'. Bad move. You're probably going to piss us off even more. You gotta show interest. Gotta show that you actually care enough to see that something happened or hit us wrong. Just no questions. She'll let you know when she's composed herself.

Your best chance of making it out alive is to use non-verbal communication. Give her a quick kiss on the forehead, rub her back and give her a moment alone. It'll pass, she'll regain her composure and things can go on without tears.

Women...we're special. But you love it and you know it...

Dumb Sufferer No Longer

The older I get, the less I can suffer dumb people. I think that by the time I'm 65 I'm going to be the crotchiest (yes, it's a word, shut up) old lady ever.

Not that 65 is that old...my mother would kill me if she heard me say that. I'm also afraid that I got my vanity from my mother but...that's another discussion entirely.

Let's get back to my story... Lauren and I went out to have a drink the other night. Nevermind that one drink inevitably turned into five or six...that's inconsequential. The important and surprising part about the story is that we actually had intelligent conversations. In Monterey. With men! For reals!

So I think that's why the one drink turned into several. It's not very often that people understand my humor, my sarcasm or just general conversation. You know, the whole "something-outside-of-oneself" doesn't really exist in this town. It's also not the norm for conversation to be only that, conversation. No ulterior motives, no creepiness, no stepping over the lines. It was nice.

Something really hit home that night... I would rather be alone than be with a beautiful Abercrombie model who is dumb as a rock. I've known this about myself for a long time now but I tried to overlook it for a short time last year because, well, my norm wasn't exactly panning out for me. I thought, 'Hey, how about you look outside of the box and get off of your high horse, little missy'. So, I did. And that lasted about one month. And I'm still shaking my head.

Main life lesson there: In theory, if they just keep their mouth shut then you're golden. You have something really pretty to look at. In reality, they never keep their mouth shut. Then you have someone to stare at incredulously while you try to figure out just where in the hell they came from.

Nothing Like A Wake Up Call

Haiti Earthquake. So far 50,000 people dead. I'm watching CNN right now and there is a reporter standing beside a collapsed building where an 11 year-old girl is trapped. Her leg is trapped underneath a boulder and while this man is trying to report, she's screaming in the background. Her rescuers don't have the equipment to move the rubble off of her so they are contemplating cutting her leg off. However, they do not have the blood supply to give her if they were to amputate. She's surrounded by her dead family in this rubble.

I can't even begin to imagine the horror that this little girl is feeling. She's lost everything in an instant and could still very well lose her life. It's hit me deeply. I've been frustrated lately. Acting spoiled, really. Things haven't been going my way. But the truth of it is that I am living a blessed life. Sure, things are tight right now. However, tight to me would be rich to others...and I need to be aware of that. I've never had to live through anything as horrific as these people have. The closest I've ever gotten to something like this is through watching CNN coverage. The most I've ever done is small, modest donations to Doctors Without Borders. I've never had to hold a dead child in my arms. I've never had to watch my entire family die. I've never been homeless. I've never gone without fresh water or food.

So, I've had my attitude adjusted. Life has been put back into perspective. I need to stop acting like a spoiled little girl and be thankful for all that I have. Because it really is a lot.

I Need An Anger Workshop

I have been struggling with anger today. Really think that I need to have an outlet of some sort.

It pretty much started the moment I stepped outside. I go for a nice little run today and nearly get run over (TWICE!) by a group of middle aged men riding bicycles who couldn't possibly ride past me any further than 2 inches. If I had swung my arm out I would have clothes-lined one of them which, looking back, maybe I should have done. It just continued from there. God-damned tourists taking up the entire path or walking on the wrong side. Mini-vans and bmw's driving like absolute morons and not responding to green lights and/or taking a left hand turn from a right hand lane. And finally, in the grocery store, men (again, middle-aged) cut me off, take up the entire aisle and, instead of moving, just look at me and continue looking at whatever in the hell they're looking at. Didn't their wives teach them how to behave in a grocery store? You keep your buggy as far to the right hand side as you can. You walk on the right hand side (it's no different than driving!). If someone needs to get past you...MOVE! Good Lord! The pretentious, self-righteous bullshit is getting really old to me.

I miss the south. Why? Because men knew how to act. You open doors for ladies. You act courteously at all times. You're respectful. Even if you have money you don't look down on anyone. You say "thank you" and "excuse me". You just act right!

Ugh...I really didn't start this blog to bitch. I was just going to say how I was having anger problems today and then I was going to write about things that make me happy. So, here it goes *deep breath*...

1. Cherries
2. Candles
3. Getting my hair did
4. New shoes/clothes/make-up
5. Starbucks

All better? Not quite. Guess I'll just keep thinking these happy thoughts. Behave, Monterey, and maybe we can get along. Maybe.

Perfectionism...A Pain In My Ass

I'm starting to drive myself crazy. I've been working on my event coordination website for approximately two months. Now, considering that I don't know what the hell I'm doing and that everything I've completed thus far has been self-taught- I've done pretty damn good. With that being said, pretty damn good isn't good enough for me. So what that equals is a frustrated Sarah who is starting to have anger issues with inanimate objects.

But this problem doesn't just have to do with my website. It affects all parts of my life. If I see something that is crooked, I fix it. Even if it's not my house. I can't stand for cabinets or drawers to be left open. I can't handle it when people leave the toilet lid open. If you want to see me really freak out, leave the toilet seat itself up. The shower curtain has to be closed... always. I have to organize my desk everyday before starting work. If I leave my house cluttered or messy (which, being a girl, I tend to do sometimes), I have nightmares. I'm serious.

I get worse when it comes to events. I can't stand it when floorplans are uneven (i.e. 5 tables on one side of the room, 3 on the other), centerpieces have to be in the exact middle of the table (I've often gone around after the florist leaves to alleviate this), votives have to be evenly spaced, placecards have to be in even rows and evenly aligned, favors have to be placed in exactly the same spot at each setting...you get the idea.

I just have this problem with needing everything to be perfect. I think that's probably why the event industry works so well for me because it's a profession that demands perfection. It celebrates my O.C.D. Embraces it, really. Of course this need for perfection lends itself to neurosis because life isn't perfect. Ever. It's full of flaws and obstructions. Which just irritates me to no end.

Ah, frustration. The name of the game for me at the moment. Who wants to fight?

Day & Night

Oh boy. This year is starting out...complicated.

I have one man crying over his beer about the fact that I'll never have his babies (and that they'd be gorgeous babies!) and another telling me that I'm not bad-looking but is afraid he'll find something better then have to break my heart.

Okay, God, seriously. I got it. You can stop with the practical jokes now. I'm all for getting a few laughs at the expense of others but this is just a little over the top.

SWF Looking For Disfunction, Unavailability

I am just about fed up. Let's examine two more type's of men that I've come into contact with.

Dude #1. Self-destructive. Nothing is their fault. Life sucks not because they won't get off of their ass but because the fates are out to get them. "All I want from life is for you to be happy". However, your happiness is going to come second, third, fourth or fifth to them, their video games, their drinking and their buddies. In other words, "All I want from life is for you to be happy...as long as I get to stay a 5 year-old while you take care of me and put up with my adolescent behavior. 'Cause the first instant that I have to be a grown-up and take care of real life shit...I'm out". When you finally do wake up and realize that nothing is ever going to come from this self-destructive guy, they like to talk about how you're the that got away, the one good thing in their life, how they would have done anything to make it work. Again, "anything" is another way of saying "anything that is within my comfort zone". These types of men are especially dangerous for girls like me who love to take care of people, who like to fix people and be their solid in a world of turmoil. The trick is figuring out whether or not they are the type of man who lives in a world of turmoil 24/7 or if they are the type of man who is just trying to make their way in life. Key word there is "trying". All I ask is that you try. You may not succeed. We may truly be horrible for each other. You may just suck at life. But at least you can try. Either way, this chick is done saving. You want me...make a change. That may not be enough to get me but hey, again, you gotta try.

Whew. Can you tell I feel a bit strongly about this one?

Moving on...literally. And moving on to the next dude...

Dude #2. The fatalist. Chances are that he is more realistic than dude #1. He's probably a very logical person with a good head on his shoulders. Here's the kicker, though; he talks himself out of even trying. Divorce rate is at 50%. Most kids are screwed up because of their parents. People who are married usually don't even like each other. So, logically, it would make sense not to pursue someone you're interested in because chances are that it's going to fail anyway. That's that guy. And how do you argue any of that? It's the truth. But aren't you already ahead of the game just by acknowledging that the odds are against you and that you need to be on top of your game? Don't you think that these people who are getting divorces are the ones who live in a fantasy about what life and love should be? The people screwing up their kids are the ones who don't see a correlation between their problems and the way their parents raised them? It's no secret that people rush into marriage nowadays without having a real grasp on who the person is that they're marrying. I'm just having a hard time arguing these points with my fatalist friend. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic but I really do think that happiness is achievable if you're realistic and honest with each other.

And then, there's me. Who apparently doesn't like normal boys who want to take me on normal dates and who have no problem talking marriage and babies. I think it's just that my heart is a little too involved with #1 and #2 to really focus elsewhere but...I'm a little afraid that I go for emotionally unavailable men. Which, whatever. At this point, it's not a big deal because I've got big things going on in my life in the form of starting a business. Maybe it's just not time. I'm not stressing, not too terribly much at least. It's just frustrating. I want what I want and I want those that I want to understand what the hell I'm saying. Make sense?

I didn't think so.