Honey, Please

If I ever call you "honey" it's not because I think you're just a dear. It probably means I think you're stupid.

I caught myself today yelling at someone driving and going, "Honey, it's a green light. For the love of God please stop breaking. Oh great. That's just great. Now that you figured out that green means "go" it's yellow. Great. No, don't worry. I'll just chill at the red light. I'll catch up with you at the next green light, I'm sure. Moron." And sure enough, I did. And yet another "HONEY! Please!".

I never really realized I said that. Then I thought about it and it's not only my driving rant but also my oh-no-you-are-so-not-getting-my-number starter. "Oh, honey, I don't think so" or "Honey, it's not happening".

It's the Southern in me. It aids my ability to charm the pants off of someone while telling them either a.) they should be wearing a rubber helmet because they are so special or b.) or that while I know I can charm the pants off of them I have no interest in seeing them without their pants or any other article of clothing and that we should just leave it at that.

Of course, it seems people only hear the "honey" part. Guess I'm gonna have use a new line. Bitch, please? Yes?