He's Just Not That Into You B.S.

Why do we do it? Honestly? I have several girlfriends who are all in less than ideal situations with men and I wonder...why? All of these girls are street smart, educated, well-bred, beautiful and have a lot to offer. But somewhere along the way they got involved with douchebags. Men who are less than them, men who use them, hurt them, humilate them. The men that I'm talking about have little or no education, little or no manners, little or no social etiquette...and quite frankly aren't all that good looking. These girls have picked men that are underneath them and because of that they are having their hearts being trampled on over and over again.

Now don't let me exclude myself from this observance. I'm doing exactly the same thing. I've got an ex-boyfriend whom I still see, still yearn for, still want in many ways. I'm trying very hard to extinguish these feelings because I see (or am trying to see) that I am worth more than what he is willing to give. However, the men that I am attracted to are basically, jerks. I've come to realize this. The few that I've been interested in since the ex haven't taken me on any dates, they haven't gone out of their way to see me, they haven't shown any willingness to go the extra mile. They've done nothing but enjoy my thoughtfulness, my kindness, my fabulous company (if I do say so myself). And for what? Why do I extend myself to men who refuse to meet halfway? Why does any woman do it?

In this day and age women can accomplish so much- and often times do! Many have successful careers, husbands, children, aging parents...then add on the normal day-to-day tasks that women are responsible for like laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. and it's a full load. Why can women have it all in most ways yet seem to lack that one truly important part of life, a partner to share it with? And not just a husband. No. I'm talking about a full on partner. Someone who understands that obligation should be reciprocal, respect should be equal and that a common search for the good and beautiful things in life should be present.

Have we as a society executed men's masculinity? Is this some kind of a counter-culture to the sexual revolution? The man that isn't really a man but is trying to show that he is a man by being and doing whatever the hell he wants to be, damn the consequences? The video games, the devil-may-care attitudes, the fear of commitment... I'm seeing that all over the place.

Either way, I'm disgusted. I'm fed-up. Men...grow the fuck up. Because you know what? You've got beautiful, thoughtful, funny, educated, I-Can-Pay-My-Own-Way women in front of you and you're about to blow it all away because you are so dedicated to your role as "Douchebag of the Week".

And, dude, if you take my girl to a bar and take off with another chick 20 minutes later...well, don't blame me if your dick ends up in a glass of ice needing to be sewn back on. I'm just saying, d-bag. Grow up.